Tag Archives: Joke

Ho, Ho, and ummm… oh yes, that’s it – Ho

Well, dear reader, Christmas is almost with us once again.  Throw a Yuletide log on the fire, get yourself a glass of hot totty and snuggle up as we look back on another year of BacStageyness.

In the Spring we revived Virtue Triumphant so that we could murder several of the cast on stage each night.  I still maintain that the Squire was a much maligned and misunderstood character, but it seems I’m in the minority on that one.  Miserable peasants!  In the Autumn we embarked on something altogether different with 7 Ages of Man and completed a hugely successful World tour on the back of it.  At the time of writing we are currently all hard at work preparing our next show, Beauty and the Beast… I say “we all” but in truth they are all hard at work while I’m at home wittering, and I raise my glass to them (hic!)

It has become something of a tradition to share a joke with you, dear reader, at this time of year.  I’m a stickler for tradition when the mood takes me, so hop up on the sofa and sit comfortably for this year’s shaggy dog story:

There was once a husband and wife who decided to leave behind their hectic life in the city and move to the country to run a pub.  They soon decided that their pub needed a pub dog.  Rover was a very friendly dog, hugely popular with all the regulars, apart from one thing – whenever he wagged his long tail he tended to scatter people’s drinks and, being such a happy dog, he wagged his tail rather a lot.  Reluctantly the landlord decided to have Rover’s tail docked; fortunately Rover was still just as happy, as were the regulars now that their drinks were no longer being spilled, and to make sure Rover’s waggy tail was not forgotten it was mounted in a glass case above the bar.

Rover lived a long and happy life at the pub but eventually time and old age caught up with him and he went to live in the great pub in the sky.  He was much missed by all his family and friends at the pub.

Just before midnight about a week later, just as the landlord was locking up for the night, out of nowhere a storm suddenly started raging outside.  Rain lashed the windows and the wind howled.  Above the howling wind there was another, ghostly howl, followed by a ghostly scratching on the pub door.  With some trepidation the landlord opened the door to see the ghost of Rover sat outside.  “Rover, what are you doing?” the landlord said.  “Didn’t you have a happy life here with us at the pub?  Why have you come back to haunt us?”

Rover’s ghost looked suitably shifty, as only a dog can.  “I did have a happy life here” he said, “and I’m sorry to come back like this.  The thing is, I went to St Peter and asked ‘can dogs enter the kingdom of heaven?’  He said yes, I could enter, but not without my tail, so I’ve come back to fetch it”.

“I see” said the landlord.  “I’m afraid I can’t help you tonight though, you’ll have to come back tomorrow morning for it”.

“Can’t I just take my tail away with me now?” asked Rover’s ghost.

“Now Rover” the landlord replied, “you were a pub dog all your life – you know the rules.  You know I’m not allowed to retail spirits after 11pm”.

Compliments of the season to you all.

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Compliments of the season

2015 is almost at an end.  It’s been a busy old year, with four (yes, four!) different plays.  Our February panto was Dick Whittington and his Cat, and in October we put on three one-act plays, A Talk in the Park, In Need of Care and Night at the (Brick) Museum.  Going into 2016 we have already started on our next show, Virtue Triumphant, so there is much to look forward to next year already.

Rumour has it that readership of this blog has doubled over the last twelve months.  I’d like to wish both of our loyal readers a merry Christmas and happy new year, and sign off for 2015 with a joke:

There were all sorts of costumes on show at the New Year’s Eve fancy dress party.  There were people in uniform, super heroes, cartoon characters, vicars and tarts, werewolves and vampires and even a spaceman.  Then a completely naked man arrived, carrying a completely naked woman on his back.

“Is this the right place for the fancy dress party?” asked the completely naked man.

“Yes it is – but what have you come as?”

“I’m a tortoise” replied the completely naked man.

“Who’s that on your back?”

To which the naked man replied “that’s Michelle”.

Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you all.

 

 

What a cracker!

The seasonal festivities are well under way.  As 2014 draws to a close it’s a good time to take a look back at what we’ve done at BaCStage in the last twelve months.

We had two hugely successful shows this year.  In April Murdered to Death knocked ’em dead, and in October Hero paid tribute to the heroes of WWI a hundred years on, as well as helping to raise valuable funds for the Royal British Legion.  We took part in the Bluntisham Christmas Gift Fair, and at either end of the year we made significant improvements to the ODS, in the garden and getting the roof repaired.  Each one of these was a big deal in its own right, so to have done all of this in the same year has made 2014 a real cracker for BaCStage.  It doesn’t stop there either, as 2015 is set to start on a high with our pantomime, Dick Whittington, in February.

Of course you can’t have a cracker without a joke, so…
Q: What do you get if you cross a snowman with a shark?  A: Frostbite.

Whatever you celebrate at this time of year have a good one, and look forward to great things in 2015.  Merry Christmas!

Giving the gift of laughter this Christmas

We like a laugh at BaCStage, as you may have noticed… then again, you may not.  Anyway, in the best of festive tradition I’d like to share with you, our loyal reader, a joke worthy of the very finest Christmas cracker:

A shepherd and his sheepdog are out on the farm.  “Round up the sheep, please” says the shepherd, “and count them while you’re there, make sure none have gone missing”.  The sheepdog trots away.  A few minutes later the sheepdog returns.  “There are 40 sheep” says the sheepdog.  “40?” says the shepherd, “I thought we only had 38”, to which the sheepdog replies “I rounded them up”.

Whatever you celebrate at this time of year, BaCStage would like to wish you a good one.  Cheers!