Category Archives: Bluntisham

Prepare to consume some Knockwurst Sausage

Picture the scene: Europe is divided and Britain stands alone, its values, its way of life, even its continued existence threatened as never before by the relentless onslaught of far-right extremism…

But enough about Brexit; let’s talk about World War II instead.

In April 2019 BaCStage will be saying ‘Allo ‘Allo to René and all the regulars at his café. 

Based on the hugely successful British television series than ran for seven seasons, this uproarious comedy relates the adventures of hapless café owner René in occupied France.  You’ll see all of your favourite TV characters in the flesh, including René’s tone-deaf wife Edith, Crabtree the British spy who thinks he can speak French, and Herr Flick of the Gestapo.

René and his wife have stashed a priceless portrait stolen by the Nazis in a sausage in their cellar, where two British airmen are also hiding until the Resistance can repatriate them.  Communications with London using the wireless that is disguised as a cockatoo add to the many embarrassments this intrepid proprietor endures in the company of his patrons.  News that the Führer is scheduled to visit the town inspires tricksters disguised as Hitler to frequent the café.  Meanwhile René summons all the wit he can muster to save his café and his life.

After three successful and entertaining auditions we’re delighted to be welcoming some new faces to BaCStage as well as welcoming back some original BaCStagers who we haven’t seen much of recently.

The French

René . . . Ash
Edith . . . Christine
Yvette . . . Sue
LeClerc . . . Ross
Michelle . . . Julie
Mimi . . . Becky

The Germans / Italians

Colonel Kurt von Strohm . . . Ron
Capt. Bertorelli . . . Thomas
Herr Otto Flick . . . Luke
Helga . . . Julie-Ann
Lieutenant Gruber . . . Steve
General von Schmelling . . . Kevin

The British

Officer Crabtree . . . Gary
Airmen . . . Zara & Phillip

Director . . . Gordon
Stage Manager . . . Denise
Sound & Lighting . . . Jason & Dan

'Allo 'Allo read through
Herr Direktor’s vord ist final!

 We are diluted to be finishing the year on such a hoe.  Merry Crustmess to every win of you!

This amateur production of ‘Allo ‘Allo is presented by special arrangement with SAMUEL FRENCH LTD.

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Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once (more)

We have just one more audition for ‘Allo ‘Allo, on Tuesday evening.  All are welcome to come along any time between 7:30pm and 9:30pm.  It’s been great to see new faces at both of the auditions we’ve held so far, and we’re well on the way to casting the show, but it’s not too late to get involved!

Extra audition – Tuesday November 27th, 7:30pm

Download the ‘Allo ‘Allo Audition Pack for more details, including a description of each of the characters.

'Allo 'Allo Audition Poster

Tempted to audition? Just turn up!

We had some new faces at our first audition for ‘Allo ‘Allo last night.  We have two more auditions, on Saturday morning and Tuesday evening.  If you fancy giving acting a go, just turn up – you don’t need any previous acting experience, you don’t need to bring anything – you don’t even need to tell us you’re coming.  We like surprises at BaCStage!

Open auditions for our next production Allo ‘Allo are taking place next week at the Old Day School in Bluntisham.

Saturday November 24th, 10:30am
Extra audition – Tuesday November 27th, 7:30pm

Download the ‘Allo ‘Allo Audition Pack for more details, including a description of each of the characters.

'Allo 'Allo Audition Poster

There is obviously no piss for the wicked

Open auditions for our next production Allo ‘Allo are taking place next week at the Old Day School in Bluntisham.

Thursday November 22nd, 7:30pm
Saturday November 24th, 10:30am
Extra audition – Tuesday November 27th, 7:30pm

All are welcome, no previous experience is needed.

Download the ‘Allo ‘Allo Audition Pack for more details, including a description of each of the characters.

'Allo 'Allo Audition Poster

If you fail to attend we will be notifying Berlin.

…and now, a word from our sponsors

They were presumed to have been lost for decades, but recently they have been rediscovered in a dark and dusty corner of the vast and labyrinthine crypt below the ODS, in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.”  Given their first airing since their original broadcast, here are the transcripts of the sponsor radio adverts that accompanied It’s a Wonderful Life.


MAN: Not so long ago, the auto-mo-bile (pronounced “auto-mow-beel”) was seen as a luxury item.  About the only time it got an airing was on high days and holidays.  In the modern world, today’s busy man needs a trustworthy mechanic to keep his auto-mo-bile on the road.  Relax, fellas, and call into COLE AND DAY in Somer-SHAM, for all your motoring needs!
COLE AND DAY has a team of swell mechanics who know about everything under the hood!  COLE AND DAY can supply and fit a range of batteries, tail pipes and tires, for all popular marques of car.  They can ensure you have a safe trip, through professional servicing of your brakes, steering and wheel alignment.
Call in to COLE AND DAY for your winter check, so you’re not stuck in the parking lot with no antifreeze, or a duff spare tire in your trunk!
From a sedan to a station wagon, a pick up to the little lady’s gadabout, call into COLE AND DAY in Somer-SHAM for all your automotive needs!


WOMAN: Ladies, when your man has been out doing manly things, like fixing his auto-mo-bile (or paying someone else to fix it!) he’ll expect his dinner to be on the table when he comes home. If you love him, you’ll want to feed him the best you can.
That’s where BUDGENS, your neighbourhood grocery store, is a real boon to the modern woman!  BUDGENS has a wide range of groceries, fresh and refrigerated foods, liquor, candy and soda.
Within BUDGENS you’ll also find BLUNTISHAM BUTCHERS, THE place to pick up some ribs, chuck or ham to keep your red-blooded male happy!
You folks in Blunti-SHAM are real lucky to have both BUDGENS and BLUNTISHAM BUTCHERS right here in your neighbourhood, be sure to call in and load up your shopping cart today!


MAN: TIMMMBERRRR!
WOMAN: What?! Where?!
MAN: Don’t worry my dear, the village hall isn’t falling on our heads. I’m talking about EARITH TIMBER!
WOMAN: EARITH TIMBER, what’s that?
MAN: Why, EARITH TIMBER are the number 1 local supplier of timber products. They provide sawn and pressure treated timber, heat treated panels, and top grade timber for fencing and gates!
WOMAN: Gee, EARITH TIMBER have more timber than you can shake a stick at!
MAN: They sure do! They can even provide you with that stick to shake!
WOMAN: You know, I might give EARITH TIMBER a call. We need a new fence for our back yard. Oh, but I don’t think my husband could fit fence panels in the back of our little ol’ auto-mo-bile!
MAN: Not to worry my dear, EARITH TIMBER offer same-day delivery!
WOMAN: They do? Then I’m gonna call them right now! (Woman exits)
MAN: EARITH TIMBER! You WOOD be crazy to go anywhere else! TIMMMBERRRR!


MAN: No one likes a force 10 gale up their night shirt and neither should you.
With ELGLAZE’s mighty range of uPCV double and triple-glazed windows, doors and conservatories you can say “so long” to draughts, while simultaneously bringing some quality and elegance to your homestead or parlour.
If you are after excellent value for your buck, amazing build quality, and customer service that’s just swell, then call ELGLAZE today.
But don’t just take our word for it. Take your automobile to our showroom and see for yourself. You can even bring your gal and show her how easy they are to keep clean.
Join the thousands of satisfied ELGLAZE customers and say goodbye to those pesky draughts and see what difference ELGLAZE makes to your life – and your night shirt.


MAN: Any of you fellas got some things that need moving? Maybe your kids are off to College, or you’re helping your buddy moving to a new apartment? Then you need a van from WARBOYS VAN HIRE!
WARBOYS VAN HIRE are your friendly local van hire company and offer a wide range of vans for you to self drive. With no hidden costs, unlike many other van rental companies, WARBOYS VAN HIRE have the lowest prices in town!
WARBOYS VAN HIRE is the van provider of choice for the BaCStage Radio Theatre. Yes, that’s right ladies and gentlemen, this stage, our equipment, and even the cast, were transported here in a van from WARBOYS VAN HIRE. Their vans can move anything from big bulky items like this stage, to fragile delicate items like these actors, so they’re sure to have the right van for you.
If it needs moving, move it in a van from WARBOYS VAN HIRE!


 

The magic of radio

Last week we completed a successful run of It’s a Wonderful Life.  The radio-on-stage play format was something new for us, including many roles per actor, lots of accents (and hats), and sound effects created live on stage, among other things.  You can see some photos from the show here, although it must be said that, being radio, they do all look a bit similar.

Here we take you behind the scenes to show you some things the listeners didn’t get to see, if you know what I mean.

Our radio impresario Peter can finally relax now that the broadcasts are finished and we’re off the air.

Peter

However, production week was not without its moments of tension.

Sorry

“I don’t know what I did wrong, Nick, but I’m very sorry and I won’t do it again”.

“Nick?  Is he still here?” said almost everyone at some point during the week.  His and Jackie’s move has been delayed, something to do with planning permission for the 17th shed with warehouse and industrial unit attached.  Our intrepid undercover reporter recently exposed how Nick has been peddling hand rails of dubious quality.  So desperate was he to try to clear his name that he attempted an act of blatant sabotage.

Sabotage

His efforts were thwarted by a higher power, for this is the Holy Hand Rail protected by the Divine Dolphin wind-chime.

Holy Handrail

The BaCStage Radio Theater and Bluntisham Broadcasting Corporation hanging out together, despite being on opposite sides of the pond.

UBGK USA

“Welcome to the United Britain of Great Kingdom, old boy”.

There was an awkward moment when Ross demanded to know who had creased a corner of his script.

Ross Script

If you thought the curtains looked a bit creased, it’s because our expert team of ironists were occupied full-time elsewhere…

That’s not how you get your wings, Clarence.

Clarence

Is it just me, or…

Kevin does Banksy

Maybe it’s just me.

Some pictures lend themselves to caption competitions.

Becky

Nope, can’t think of anything for this one.

George and Mary, married in 1932, celebrate their 86th wedding anniversary.

George and Mary

Aww, youth is wasted on the wrong people!

Let’s play a quick game of “who’s Jess?”  It’s like “where’s Wally?”, but different.

Jess

Looks like we have a winner.

Speaking of Jess, what’s got 8 legs and terrified Jess on Thursday?  No it’s not Becky’s family (they were in on Saturday), it’s this little fella.

Spider

He went to a good home.  We hid him in one of the raffle prizes.  Maybe he was in yours?  Go and check, I would.

With that we conclude another successful BaCStage show.  If you have been paying attention you’ll know what we’re planning to do next…

Last few tickets for Saturday!

Saturday night has SOLD OUT at Bluntisham Service Station and online.  We have a very small number of tickets left for on-the-door sales only.  It’s going to be a wonderful one!

It’s a Wonderful Life

Adapted for radio-on-stage from the 1946 Frank Capra film by

Tony Palermo

performed by kind permission of Tony Palermo

Director: Peter Dodds

Thursday 18, Friday 19 and Saturday 20 October 2018
7.30 pm
Bluntisham Village Hall

It's a Wonderful Life

 

Simply wonderful!

We enjoyed a simply wonderful opening night last night.  Here’s what one happy audience member had to say:

“I for one was completely held by your performances.  It was utterly refreshing to see something so different from BaCStage … Assimilating the adverts into the performance was inspired. Sound effects on stage compelling.” 

There are still some tickets left for Friday and Saturday but hurry – they’re almost all gone!

Tickets are on sale now priced at £8 for online sales and £8.50 on the door.

Book now

also available from Bluntisham Service Station SOLD OUT – online or on-the-door only!

~oOo~

It’s a Wonderful Life

Adapted for radio-on-stage from the 1946 Frank Capra film by

Tony Palermo

performed by kind permission of Tony Palermo

Director: Peter Dodds

Thursday 18, Friday 19 and Saturday 20 October 2018
7.30 pm
Bluntisham Village Hall

It's a Wonderful Life

The most wonderful week of the year

It’s just two days until the BaCStage Radio Theater goes live on air with It’s a Wonderful Life.  Tickets are selling like hot cakes for the Saturday performance, with more available for Thursday and Friday.

“It’s the chance of a lifetime, George.  The chance of a lifetime!”

The chance of a lifetime!

Tickets are on sale now priced at  £8 for advance sales and £8.50 on the door.

Book now

also available from Bluntisham Service Station

~oOo~

It’s a Wonderful Life

Adapted for radio-on-stage from the 1946 Frank Capra film by

Tony Palermo

performed by kind permission of Tony Palermo

Director: Peter Dodds

Thursday 18, Friday 19 and Saturday 20 October 2018
7.30 pm
Bluntisham Village Hall

It's a Wonderful Life

A parting gift from Nick

Our regular reader will already know that after many years Nick and Jackie have retired from BaCStage service to go and collect sheds by the seaside.  However, Nick did leave us one of his famous handrails as a parting gift.

Handrail

With the safety of the actors assured, the show can go on!

Tickets for It’s a Wonderful Life are on sale now priced at  £8 for advance sales and £8.50 on the door.


Book now

It’s a Wonderful Life

Adapted for radio-on-stage from the 1946 Frank Capra film by

Tony Palermo

performed by kind permission of Tony Palermo

Director: Peter Dodds

Thursday 18, Friday 19 and Saturday 20 October 2018
7.30 pm
Bluntisham Village Hall

It's a Wonderful Life