18 dead deceased murdered copses?  That would be going some with a cast of only 10 characters.  Many secondary causes of death there…

18 days till opening night?  As it happens, at the time of writing there are, but we’re not having a balloon countdown every day.

An 18th birthday?  Could be – but who?  Is it Cardew, with the dagger?  (Don’t start that again – Ed)

It was in fact Captain Henrietta with the cake.  After three everyone:

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday Captainhenriettawoolmercardington,
Happy birthday to you.

Now stop that and get back to rehearsals. We’ve got a show to put on in… how many days?