We had our first live audience for Deborah’s Party at rehearsals this week, and what a big one it was!
Warning: this post contains pictures of a large spider. Those of a squeamish disposition may want to look away before the ending.
Hang on a minute, let’s put this into perspective shall we? In some parts of the world there are spiders large enough to be saddled up and ridden like horses, milked to make spider cheese or even sheltered beneath during bouts of inclement weather. Here in the UK such monsters are very rare, tending only to be found in museums, private collections and on the under-side of your chair (yes, you – have a look, I dare you). As for looking away, what I really mean is “those of a squeamish disposition – pull yourselves together, it’s only a picture”. OK, two pictures actually, but even so it’s not as if an actual spider is going to leap out of your screen, run along your arm, climb up the back of your neck onto the top of your head and… (that’s enough – Ed). Of course, if by some ironic twist of fate an actual spider does jump onto you as you are reading this, run along your arm, climb up the back of your neck onto the top of your head and… (I said that’s ENOUGH – Ed) … that is something that neither I nor anyone else connected to BaCStage could in any way be held responsible for, nor indeed be able to help you deal with. In that unlikely, but worryingly possible scenario, you’re on your own I’m afraid. Apart from the spider keeping you company, of course.
By now our regular reader may be starting to think that, given this blog’s tendency toward occasional flights of fancy, there was no spider at all or that if there was it was no bigger than a pin-head and that all this talk of enormous, saddled-up, milk-able weather-proof spiders running along your arm, climbing up the back of your neck onto the top of your head and… (I won’t tell you again – Ed) … is merely a bluff. Well, squeamish ones, now is the time to do your thing as I introduce you to the double-bluff:
Pass me that saddle, would you please?
It’s hard to get a sense of scale from a picture, but if one were to use the time-honoured “glass and card” technique for humane spider removal then this one would definitely need a pint glass.
Maybe even a bucket. Rather cute though nonetheless, I’m sure you’ll agree.
It didn’t move throughout the entire rehearsal, leading to some speculation that it might be dead, or that it had only come along for the raffle. However, by the next rehearsal it had gone, seemingly of its own accord. So where is it now? Is it hiding under a stage box, waiting to frighten an unsuspecting roadie on set-up day? Or is it hoping to get a last-minute call as understudy for the part of Alan? Or maybe, it’s on the under-side of your chair.
Yes, you – have a look, I dare you.